SPANK CHEEKS

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

HEATHER MILLS PULLS THE LIMB CARD


In a desperate bid to prove how emotionally wrought she is, Heather Mills pulled the “limb card” in a recent interview. Pr-Inside reports:


Speaking as part of a world exclusive interview with US news show Extra, which aired last night (21NOV06), Mills stunned host DAYNA DEVON when she said, "I would rather someone come up and chop off all my limbs than go through what I went through." Mills, who is currently in the middle of a painful divorce with McCartney, added, "If your limbs are chopped off, you get another (fake) limb and there's light at the end of the tunnel. When you're vilified for doing nothing but falling in love with an icon... I'd rather have all of my limbs cut off (and) that's the God's honest truth." And the whole experience of falling for McCartney, marrying him and then splitting from him has put her off marriage for life.
Call it a hunch, but I think her pain is coming from the fact that she knows she’s not going to get the settlement she wanted, the fact that after this, she'll never get a date again, and that the entire world hates her with the red hot intensity of a thousand suns. Pulling the “limb-card” is just her way of trying to humanize herself and exemplify just how much pain she is going though.

Her metaphorical diatribe makes about as much sense as the time I happened to see a hooker go off on her “customer” as he accused her of having penis envy. To which she retorted: “I’m glad I don’t have a penis..because then I’d have to fuck losers like you up the ass”. It makes you stop and think but it really doesn’t change how you perceive someone. And just like that hooker on the corner of 5th and Main, there is nothing Heather Mills can do to change public perception. Especially since she WAS that hooker I was talking about.

Hey, if the limb fits, wear it.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is nothing lower than when someone uses their disability for sympathetic advantage.

How low can you get? What a one-legged POS!

Pete M., New York, New York

2:29 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

She doesn't have a leg to stand on! lol

2:52 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

I want to fill it with beer and drink from it........piss in it and give it back............

3:25 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

P.s. I did read how you found spankcheeks Pete from New York, and I must say, just tell people you WERE looking for porn. It sounds a little better.......LOL

By the way, I'm glad you stuck around and didn't take offense. We get a little crazy sometimes, bare with............

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?

The wheelchair.

yeah, I know. Too funny.

What's even funnier is why she is news/gossip. She is just another crazy money hungry nobody like fed-ex.

4:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! Thanks Italian! I will stick around.

Drinking beer out of it sounds nasty. I have heard of drinking champagne out of a woman's shoe (where the hell did I hear of that anyway....?) but drinking beer out of a prosthetic leg is just nasty.

Drink the beer out of the can and then piss in the leg.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Pete M., New York, New York

4:33 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

dragulf - "The wheelchair." - Hee! Hee!

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll do it! I'll do it!

4:11 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

Fake legs? I tried pulling the "fake tits" card during my divorce, but it didn't go over too well so I had to fall back on my "fake orgasm" defense. And when that didn't work I just gave my lawyer a b.j.

4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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5:14 AM  

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