SPANK CHEEKS

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

J-LO IS READY FOR HER CLOSEUP

Usually, if I call someone a crazy bitch, it's a compliment. But not this time. J-Lo pulled some serious egotistical bullshit at Tom & Kate’s sham wedding. US Weekly reports:

Katie Holmes was the one getting married on Saturday, but who was the biggest diva of the weekend? Jennifer Lopez!

Tom Cruise and Holmes kindly arranged for a private plane to bring some of their more famous friends to Italy for their wedding. But a source tells Us Weekly that, hours before Jada Pinkett Smith, Leah Remini and Jerry Maguire director Cameron Crowe boarded the chartered 757 to Rome, “Jennifer Lopez sent her assistant to secure seats by laying her belongings on all the best seats!”

Lopez also flew her hairstylist, Ken Pavés, into Rome and set him up at the posh Hotel Hassler to do her hair for the big day.

Meanwhile, it’s supposed to be the bride’s special weekend, but the singer made sure that all eyes were on her at a group dinner at the restaurant Nino on Thursday night. Says a source, “The November 16 welcome dinner was supposed to be casual. But J.Lo, of course, wore a gown. So much for casual.”

And the special treatment didn’t stop there. At 2:33 a.m. in the wee hours after the wedding, Lopez, 37, had a waiter sneak two doggie bags to her and husband Marc Anthony, 38, as they were on their way to the airport to return to the States.
As soon as I read this article (and especially the part about the gown), I decided that J-Lo is turning into the Norma Desmond character from the old movie Sunset Boulevard. Which is a movie about a silent-film star who is having a really hard time fading-to-black in the Hollywood realm. Not unlike J-Lo.

I am envisioning that J-Lo was the epitome of the clip below at TomKat’s wedding. I bet the guests looked at her the same way they are looking at Norma Desmond too. You know, with that "what the fuck" experssion. The above story coupled with the 1950 clip encompasses what J-Lo has become: caught in the vestibule betwen fame and ambiguity. It's so tragic, really. She had a really nice ass.

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