SPANK CHEEKS

Monday, November 27, 2006

MICHAEL RICHARDS APOLOGIZES

click here for exclusive audio from Rev. Jackson's interview with Michael Richards.

Michael Richards claims that humiliation caused him to embark on his spew of racial epitaphs. We all deal with humiliation differently. When I'm humiliated, you can find me alone in the closet with an Alden Merrill cheesecake. But this isn't about me.

Michael Richards apologized today during an in-studio interview with Reverend Jesse Jackson for his racist tirade last week. But he doesn’t know just how sorry he’s going to be. According to City News
The two men who were the target of a racist tirade by former Seinfeld star Michael Richards are demanding a personal apology and their lawyer has suggested the comic could avoid a lawsuit with a monetary settlement.

Frank McBride and Kyle Doss say they were at a West Hollywood comedy club last week with about 20 other people to celebrate a friend's birthday. Their attorney, Gloria Allred, claims they were ordering some drinks when Richards singled them out and accused them of heckling.

"To have him do what he did to me ... I can't even explain it," the 26-year-old said. "I was humiliated, even scared at one point."
Allred has suggested that the comic meet her clients in front of a retired judge to "acknowledge his behaviour and apologize to them" and to allow the former jurist to decide on monetary compensation.

She didn't reveal a specific amount, but the attorney said it could be one way Richards could avoid a lawsuit.
I wouldn’t sue him for money. Personally, it would have been more than enough for me to have been the person Richards went off on. I would have made t-shirts that said “Cosmo Kramer hates me”, set up an internet site called www.cosmokramerhatesme.com and a myspace account entitled www.myspace.com/cosmokramerhatesme and my page song would be “Do you really want to hurt me” by Culture Club. Oh yea, baby I would have a fucking field day.

And the irony to beat all ironies? The Seinfeld episode I saw today was Kramer chastising Jerry for being a racist “anti-dentite”. A prime example of how life imitates art. Except in reverse. Sort of. Okay, not really. Fine, YOU find the link. See, this is why I eat cheesecake in the closet. You always make me feel stupid.

7 Comments:

Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Black dog... Cosmo... I don't get it? Ha! Ha! Ha!

12:39 AM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

I believe it was rabid-anti-dentite, not racist, my bad..........

10:01 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

It's the DayQuil man....I dont' even kmow who I am today. Keep me honest!

10:04 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I'm inclined to remember the episode where Kramer dates a black woman and before he meets her parents falls asleep in the sun or a tanning bed which turns his skin a deeply dark hue, much to the disgruntlement of the family of the young negress he is trying to woo, hence, hilarity hijinks transpire! Gold!!!

10:12 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Osh, as always you SLAY me. Plus you have a wicked cool avitar.

10:36 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

Thanks darlin'! I've been staying at my mother-in-law's house so I've been trying to spend as much time as possible on the computer and avoiding social interaction, so I finally figured out how to make a little picture-thingy for my comments deal!

12:21 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Call up a bunch of porn so it will be in their "history" when you leave. LOL

2:05 PM  

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