SPANK CHEEKS

Monday, November 06, 2006

THE SCARLETT LETTER

Picture me clapping my hands with GLEE right now. Allegedly…there is a Scarlett Johansson sex tape! Eluid HAPPILY reports:

I've gotten the privilege to write about some great stories in my time but nothing tops this. Ladies and gentlemen, there is an alleged Scarlett Johansson blowjob audio + partial videotape out there. I never thought I'd see the day. The people from this website have a copy of it and are looking to sell it. Here's some of the info:

It all started when I was walking near the sound tent and my buddy waived me over, smiling and chuckling to himself. He handed me a pair of headphones and informed me that (the actresses) mic was still on … she gets into a vehicle and shares some sweet talk with a guy. I thought she had a boyfriend, but I don’t recognize this guy’s voice … There is some rustling, then the vehicle door opens … She reclines the seat and gets back in. Skip ahead, here is some more sweet talk, then some more rustling, then they start kissing and so forth … THEN, for twelve minutes and forty seven seconds, she gives him the sexiest blow job I have ever heard capped off by the words “Yeah, cum”.
Oh, that lucky bastard! Twelve minutes and 47 seconds, people. All I know is this had BETTER be true . That tape lasts longer than my boyf…..never mind.

4 Comments:

Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

This sounds nothing like the Michael Douglas/ Catherine Zeta Jones sex audio tape, in which one can hear rustling, followed by a bottle of pills crashing to the floor, the sound of velcro unfastening, and capped off by the words "my back!" Hawt.

1:30 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Osh, you just had me laughing out loud so hard that the shipping guy thought i was laughing at him!

1:47 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

You can use me as an excuse to laugh at the shipping guy. My excuse for laughing at the Fed Ex man is that he has a small penis, but I'm not supposed to know that so I just tell people I'm laughing because I'm crazy. It all works out for everybody, except the Fed Ex guy of course.

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

I know who not to go out with now. I don't want her laughing at me.

9:15 AM  

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