SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, November 02, 2006

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO "EWWW"

Did you ever hear about how recovering addicts will sometimes switch from their addiction to something else? I think they call it a “crutch”. For example, they’ll get sober, but get all religious? Or get sober and turn into a tranny?

The other day, Pete was quoted as saying:

Pete Doherty has revealed that he likes to wear lover Kate Moss’s clothes. He also borrows the top model’s make-up – and says trying on her shoes makes him feel really horny. The 27-year-old Babyshambles frontman spoke of his secret passion for women’s clothes and face-slap while on a night out at a west London bar. Pete was larking around with two male pals when two female fans asked him about his use of cosmetics. Pete said: "Oh yeah, I love them – especially the eye-liner. It’s a laugh as it can make the right changes to your features." He went on to reveal how he’d also tried on Kate’s clothes and found them a real turn-on – especially her shoes. Pete said: "I just don’t get all the fuss when people see fellas wearing women’s clothes. "I mean, I love Kate’s stuff and have tried some bits on. What’s wrong with that? "Footwear is the key and it makes you feel good…very good, if you get my drift."

And today SKY reports:
Pete was rushed to casualty yesterday after getting his fiancee Kate Moss' engagement ring stuck on his finger.

According to the Daily Mirror, the Babyshambles star's digit swelled up so much the £50,000 sparkler had to be cut off.

He was later seen leaving the Princess Grace Hospital in North London with a bandaged finger and a sheepish look on his face.

That wasn’t a sheepish look. That’s the look of a man whose girl’s thong is cutting him a new ass-crack. I KNOW that look. I was sporting it only yesterday.

I don’t know what Kate Moss sees in this guy. I can only assume he’s got an enormous penis. And I’m going to also assume that Kate Moss is color blind. Because she’s not seeing any of the “red flags” this douche is constatly flailing around.

And then one day, they'll break up and she'll be "devastated". It's like that friend we all have that whines for like TWO YEARS after he/she breaks up; wondering why they didn't see it coming. And they go over and over scenarios and make you listen to it. And then one day you tell them to shut the fuck up and get over it and then suddenly I'M the asshole.

4 Comments:

Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I always knew that men wearing womens clothing was pretty faggy, but leave it to a Brit to make it even more faggy. (PS. to all Brits, I'm not talking about cigarettes)

10:11 AM  
Anonymous BarbadoSlim said...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww!!!

11:18 AM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Oh yea? Well I whined to my friends about my ex for 10 years! Beat that!

1:10 PM  
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10:31 PM  

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