SPANK CHEEKS

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

TOM AND KATIE'S BRONZE COLLECTION


In August, Abby reported on a humorous, yet heinous, tribute to Suri Cruise. There it was for all of us to see, "art" in it's simplest of forms. If you went to Tom and Katie’s house, you'd see what they call a "trend" in their choice of decor. And that trend would be enveloped in bronze. Tomkatcrazy reports:

Patrizia Riccioni, mayer of Bracciano gave Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes a Bronze Model of Odescalchi Castle with their wedding date inscribed in it as a wedding gift. Isn’t this beautiful? I think the town should market these for TomKat fans.
Um. That would be a resounding no, thank you. It doesn't look big enough for anything useful. And by that I mean not big enough to stash all my sex-toys.

But after confirming Tom's "emotional eating" problem and the fact that he had a girdle sewn into his wedding tux, I'm imagining the only thing that bronze box will be holding is an array of Hostess baked goods and the underwear he wore in Risky business...with a girdle-esque support panel sewn in, of course. And when he takes the box off the mantel and takes it up to his room, Katie will hear the door lock behind him. In a few moments; just long enough for Tom to put on his control skivvies; she will hear the muffled music begin to play. Then she'll look up at the mantle and see a bronze piece of shit sitting on it. And if that doesn't inspire a moment of epiphanic proportions, nothing will.

2 Comments:

Blogger Italian Stallion said...

What's a matter with bronze shit? You should see my collection.........

8:55 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Stallion, yours are probably all horse shit?

8:59 PM  

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