SPANK CHEEKS

Monday, December 11, 2006

BUSTED! NICOLE RICHIE ARRESTED FOR DUI

Same story...different "celebrity". Nicole Richie got popped this morning for driving under the influence. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned that Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI early Monday morning. She was booked at 4:50 AM today and was released around 7:15 this morning. The booking sheet reveals Richie is 5'1" and 85 lbs.We're told two motorists spotted her SUV going the wrong way on the 134 Freeway in Burbank. The drivers called 911.When the CHP responded, Richie was stopped in the carpool lane and was alone in the vehicle. When cops approached the vehicle, Richie was on her cellphone.Law enforcement officers tell TMZ Nicole Richie admitted she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot. A preliminary alcohol screening device revealed that Nicole was not under the influence of alcohol.
I could come up with something catty or snarky but I'm not going to because frankly, I've used up all my "dumbfuck" jokes on Britney, Paris and Lindsay. I'm spent. Give it 30 minutes and a story will be out: "Concerned Lionel Whisks Nicole to Rehab". And unless Lionel is sporting a massive 'fro, breaks into a rousing rendition of "Brick House"AND drops the N-bomb, I'm ignoring it.

20 Comments:

Blogger p0nk said...

alcohol has calories so that's ruled out. Vicodin has never impaired my judgement, although I weigh considerably more than 85lbs, and I have no idea why she would be taking Vicodin. The pot, however, is another story.

1:45 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Hey p0nk! Good to see you...haven't seen you on Xanga in a while.....

1:48 PM  
Blogger p0nk said...

between some choice remarks made to me, and the current activity going on there, i'm not real xanga-friendly these days.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

pOnk- is it when I called you a sinner, married man? Dude, I was joking around. I have to say I fuck with everyone over there. I noticed you stopped playing around after I said that. Man, I hope that's not the reason you stopped coming by. I think you are hilarious, not to mention intelligent, and I enjoyed reading your comments. If it was me, my bad, I apologize.........if not me, sorry you feel that way..........

3:21 PM  
Blogger p0nk said...

thanks stallion, I know you were joking, but i'm a little over-sensitive to that one for reasons I don't want to get into. All of you are still a great bunch, i just need to stay out of the sex games.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

Ooops. My bad, no need to explain yourself. Anyway, still come over, everyone misses you there. No need to stop coming cuz some jackass that pretends to be a Stallion said something stupid, ya know. Stay out of the stupid games they play, but still join in on all the other shit. Man, I relly feel like an asshole now................

4:05 PM  
Blogger p0nk said...

stallion, really no problem bro. you're funny as hell. Sometimes us old senile farts have issues. I've been following all of it, and I'll be commenting when i find a place.

4:20 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I don't hang out at Xanga because I don't have the patience to set up another account!
In case you were wondering.
You weren't?
Oh, ok.

Nicole Ritchie is fat.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

I was wondering, Osh, you lazy bitch.....

P.S. happy late B-day..........

4:32 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

You'd love it Osh..try it.

Ponk..what do you mean find a place. I don't like the sounds of this.....

4:33 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

If it's any consolation, pOnk, I spend all of my waking and sleeping time pondering ways to escape the oppresive monotony and boring depression that is married life. The only thing standing between me and violating my marriage vows at any given moment is that no man has had the balls to randomly approach me and tell me to bend over.

4:38 PM  
Blogger p0nk said...

everything is fine, the last few threads just haven't been something i can get into.

osh-kosh, bend over.

4:40 PM  
Blogger p0nk said...

and I do appreciate what you're saying osh. I didn't know you were part of this group, your comments on the fish crack me the hell up.

4:47 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

Thanks. And thanks for coming on to me... I was pulling a Britney today and I think I need a new office chair as this one is now soiled.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Ahhh, all is well yet again. :)

4:59 PM  
Blogger p0nk said...

suddenly i realize why they measure the durability of office chair fabric in "number of rubs".

5:03 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Drugs are bad... ... bad!!! :(

5:19 PM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

Oh, great. First Stallion calls me a bitch on my birthday (not that it's wrong, just... less than polite. Fucker.), then he breaks p0nk.... although, come to think of it, it might have happened the other way around.

Stallion needs a spanking.

p0nk, honey, you're missed. We'll duct-tape Stallion's fingers to the arms of his chair so he can't type. Or we'll just let Pinky stand over him with a riding crop.... That there's what you call a win/win situation.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Hold up,now Apache...Stallion's birthday wish was a la Dave Chapelle...as in "I'm rich Bitch!' or "I'm Rich James Bitch!" Bad thing about the internet is that you can lose tone.....

Ponk is cool with him, and said so, and i would hate to see Stallion tied up in any way shape or form. Stallions need to run free in order to be happy! ;)

And last but not least, Happy Birthday, woman! I hope it rocked.

11:14 PM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

Heyyy, now, nothing wrong with being a little "tied up" now and again. LOL

I was just teasing Stallion about his remark. I think it's that internet loss-of-tone again. :)

11:42 PM  

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