SPANK CHEEKS

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

JENNIFER ANISTON HAS NO SELF ESTEEM

I’m thinking K-fed either has Kevorka or we are on the cusp of Armageddon and I’m waiting for K-Fed to open his shirt and show us the mark of the beast. Celebitchy reports:

After hanging out with former ‘Friends’ costars, Jen made for Club Citrus with some gal pals for some laughs and what became a few too many Limoncello’s. Jen was first introduced to the high-octane cocktail in Italy by the same guy that sent his pal Danny DeVito to be on “The View” while he was in a state of mild delirium.

And what other newly exed celeb happened to be in the same place, slamming a Colt 45 while wearing a too-large-for-his-frame velour sweatsuit? None other than FedEx and his posse, all of whom went nuts when they saw Jen. My sources tell me they spent the rest of the night in a private area, making fun of their exes.

When the lights of the club finally came on, the two were seen escaping into the shadows through a back door. Citrus owner Peter Chin, always tight-lipped about his mega-star clientele, would neither confirm nor deny the story, then gave me his signature ‘wink.’
Jennifer Anniston’s self-esteem is in the shitter big time. You figure you have no where to go but down once you were married to Brad Pitt, but taking up Britney Spears’ leftovers? Now that's a cry for help my friends.

But more importantly, I feel compelled to stick up for Limoncello. Its been getting a bad rap lately and starting to get blamed for things. That's like having an arsonist standing next to a burned down house and then blaming it on the fire. I know Limoncello, and we've had nothing but good times together. I think.

29 Comments:

Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

That would be great if they dated for a while and he dumped her for someone hotter, and then she went on Oprah and Inside Edition and tried to make everyone feel sorry for her, and then started dating... um... oh, I don't know, Aaron Carter or one of the retards from Howard Stern.

9:51 AM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

I didn't know so many people got drunk here on Limoncello. We usually just drink a little after dinner, not get plastered on it. She must have gotten really wasted o leave with K-fed.

New date rape drug of 2000- Limoncello

I say date rape, because it was said that Clooney ass-raped Devito that night..................

10:07 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

I hope she gets pregnant with K-Feds baby and THEN he leaves her for another Aaron Carter.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous bionic bunny! said...

i din't think limoncello was "high octane". i know i didn't care for it much. but it was better than jaegar (htf do you spell that crap, anyway?), so i drank it . bleh.

10:58 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

What the fuck is Limoncello? Is that some Scientology thing that you drink out of a straw inserted into someone's skull?

11:11 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Limoncellos are for the high society and faggots!!

11:21 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Limoncello is a lemon flavored (Italian) liquor. It's awesome. Unlike Wally, who just called us fags.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

Wally- So you're saying you like the stuff?

Osh- it's an after dinner liquor in Italia. It's not that bad, but I guess it get's these people drunk.........

11:38 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Stallion, this is the second time we simultaneously posted today.

11:39 AM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

Cookies all around..........

11:45 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

I don't get it.

11:53 AM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

Do you want a cookie?

12:07 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

This is some kind of trick question....

12:11 PM  
Blogger p0nk said...

as for the Clooney/DeVito ass-rape, I suspect it was consensual rather than rape, but I digress...
Jennifer Anniston, despite her issues...I would hit that so hard, the person who could pull me out would proclaimed King of England.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

Stallion, this is the second time we simultaneously posted today.

Do you want a cookie?

I don't get it.

Cookies all around..........

1:16 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

I'm all for Limoncello being the new date rape drug. Because if it wasn't for date rape, I'd never get laid.

1:21 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Stallion, I don't know why I'm just not getting it. Stupid funeral has me all fucked up.

1:22 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I want a cookie!

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jennifer Aniston is wanting to be wanted and needing to be needed. I feel her current rendevous with K-Fed is just a cry out for attention. She just wants to be loved, I feel for her, hopefully she can look at her accomplishments and that can make her feel better about herself. Maybe a win at the upcoming People's Choice Awards will help her regain confidence and self-esteem. She's nominated for Favorite Leading Lady and Favorite On -Screen Match-up along with her now former boyfriend and co-star Vince Vaughn coincidentally for "The Break-Up". Be sure to tune in January 9, 2006 on CBS @ 9/8c, there are only 2 more categories left open for voting, visit http://www.pcavote.com for more info. I got the latest updates because I work with the People's Choice Community.

1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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4:34 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

Zanna- nice Sublime reference....

Osh- you want cookie?

4:37 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

The second Anonymous likes it in the poopshoot.........

4:38 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Oshy - I want YOUR 26 year old cookie!! :)

6:12 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Stallion - The second Anonymous likes "cookies" in the poopshoot???

6:13 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Stallion, it's not just a sublime reference...it's the truth.

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know anything about Jennifer Aniston or K-Fed-The-Dickhead but I am not buying that story for a second.

I would sooner believe she blew Nathan Lane on the bar than that she hung out with that guy or that she left with him.

Pete M. New York, NY

9:17 PM  
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11:05 PM  
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1:26 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I want a cookie! And I want to kick Jennifer Aniston in the pussy!

4:31 PM  

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