SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, December 07, 2006

LINDSAY LOHAN IS A SPITTER

The bloated and bemused Lindsay Lohan was at a party recently and grossed people out. The National Enquirer reports:

Talk about a shocking breach of decency and sanitation…Mean Grrl LINDSAY LOHAN grossed eyewitnesses at a Hollywood industry bash when she snaked out a paw as a waiter passed by with hors d’oeuvres, popped one in her mouth, then shrieked, “This tastes like s***” – and spit it back onto the tray! As eyes rolled, Ms. Train Wreck snagged a napkin and daintily patted her pie-hole as the horrified waiter tossed his napkin over her disgusting spit-out, stalked straight to the kitchen and dumped the contaminated tray! (Dude, you shoulda sold it on eBay!)
I know, The National Enquirer. But like I heard this guy tell his wife in line at the grocery store the other day, “There has to be some truth behind what they print or they’d be getting sued ALL the time”. And I thought yea, that’s true. That’s why my court appointed attorney told me I can’t sue Han Dynasty when I get random phone calls at closing time looking for a “good time”. I am a good time and it happens to say so in the men’s room over the 3rd urinal. Now, if they said “for a bad time call”, I’d have a case. And I’d be drinking mai-tais right now and be knee deep in crab rangoons. But I'm not. And this is why I have to work for a living.

9 Comments:

Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I always figured her for a swallower.

Meh. That's all I got this morning.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Lindsay is the epitome of a wasted youth.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

My Italian sausage would like to spit in her face........

11:34 AM  
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