Friday, December 22, 2006


Now, here is a tree suitable for “pornaments”. Check out this phallically shaped coniferous delight:

Alan Parkin put the willies up his neighbours - with this naughty 10ft Christmas tree.

Not content with adding just a couple of baubles, Alan, 47, decorated the fir with red and white fairy lights outside his home in aptly named Penistone.

But his jolly green giant didn't exactly excite fellow residents and they complained to police. Proof, perhaps, that size isn't everything.

One said: "It's rather rude. There are children and teenagers about and I don't think it's good for them to see." Another fumed: "It's just obscene. We shouldn't have to put up with it."

Although officers who visited his South Yorkshire home merely asked him to remove the lights, the jobless prankster has agreed to go all the way - and give the tree the snip.

Married Alan said: "It was just a laugh. If it offended anybody, then the shape will be altered.
"I was amazed when police called around. They said they had received a complaint and would I mind removing the lights so it didn't look offensive."

But not all neighbours were outraged. Constance Barnard, a widow in her 60s, said: "It doesn't bother me.

"I didn't know we had anyone around here so pious as to complain to police. I'm a churchgoer but I don't think about it. I'm a live-and-let-live lady."

Mind you, even she wasn't that impressed with Alan's idea of a Christmas lunchbox. Constance said: "It looks more like a mushroom."


Blogger Italian Stallion said...

"It looks more like a mushroom".....

No shit! That shit is pretty funny, fucking people get pissed off about everything...........

10:11 AM  
Anonymous BarbadoSlim said...

Pffffffffffft....mine's bigger.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

If my tree looked like that it would have been alot funnier when the sap got on my eyelashes and stuck my eye closed.

10:56 AM  
Blogger p0nk said...

lmao zanna, that would have been a video worthy of

11:07 AM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

If you like that, you should see my "vagina bush."

11:12 AM  
Blogger p0nk said...

only if it is as neatly trimmed.

12:45 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

It would have been a good video, Ponk. What with the weeping turned to laughing turned to cursing.

12:46 PM  

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