LESBIONIC CATFIGHT

Well, it seems that Angelina and Madonna share more than just a love for adopting third world oprhans. I was wondering why they started their verbal fisticuffs over adoption processes and motives. But now I think we can shed some light on that. The Daily Mail reports:

Little wonder Hollywood is lapping up this delicious catfight between two of the world's biggest female stars, especially as, if rumours are to be believed, it is lent added spice by something of a Sapphic frisson.

The Mail has learnt that a lipstick lesbian is writing a no-holds-barred book in which she will describe in graphic detail how she was a lover of the stunning actress and the singer at the same time.

Jenny Shimizu, a 39-year-old model, will allege that Madonna flew her around the world for secret liaisons before she married the film director Guy Ritchie. Their affair, she says, coincided with an equally passionate fling with the leggy Miss Jolie.

Well, I guess sometimes you eat at the five star restaurant known as The Angelina and then sometimes late at night, when no one is looking, you go dumpster diving in the snatch of a gap-toothed has-been. And for some reason I just got a mental image of a Hazmat uniform and the expression, "Cover me...I'm going in"