MINI-ME IN REHAB

Nothing says “New Year’s Resolution” quite like entering rehab.

AUSTIN POWERS star VERNE TROYER’s long-running battle with alcohol abuse has landed him back in a rehab facility.

The small star recently checked himself into a treatment centre near his Michigan hometown for 12 days after suffering a relapse.

His manager, ELENA FONDACARO, confirms to American publication National Enquirer, "Verne was in rehab and now he’s in outpatient therapy.

"Alcoholism is an illness that comes and goes - and Verne realised he was slipping. He decided to go back to rehab because he’s determined to maintain his sobriety." In October 2002 the 38-year-old nearly died of alcohol poisoning after being distraught following a break-up with GENEVIEVE GALLEN, a busty blonde who was his bride for two months.

Fondacaro adds, "He’ll be back in Los Angeles to resume work by mid-January (07). He’s determined to stay sober."

Okay, first alcoholism isn’t something that comes and goes. It’s something that comes and stays like herpes and all you can do is manage it the best you can and keep the flareups down to a minimum. How do I know? Because I just broke up with my boyfriend who just happens to have 10 years sobriety under his belt. And who likes to tell me repeatedly about “the alcoholic way of thinking." And then I'd get sick of him acting like AA was some kind of club and I'd say, “you don’t have to be an alcoholic to think like that” and proceed to smash my vodka bottle on the front of his truck and tell him to stop judging me. And then I think he said it was over. I can't remember. But I distinctly remember yelling, "You can't quit me! I'm fired!

So that's how I know I broke up with him. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.