SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, January 04, 2007

RENEE ZELLWEGER HAS ISSUES

Renee Zellweger chooses to live like a homeless vagrant. PR-inside reports:

RENEE ZELLWEGER is so concerned about security she refuses to live at any of the luxury homes she owns.

The BRIDGET JONES actress admits past experiences with stalkers have left her mentally scarred, and she is unable to settle down in any one place for fear another crazed fan may threaten her.She says, "I have places to live but I don't live there because I don't have time to get there and because I've had people show up at these houses so it's not a friendly place for a girl who is single without a dog to live. So I don't tend to go there.

"It's scary if there is a car idling outside your house on your 40 acres in the middle of the woods at four in the morning. And as a girl your instincts are to be scared of this and what am I going to do? And that doesn't make for a very good night's sleep."Your instincts kick in and your adrenalin rushes, and you realise you can't live there. It's sad, but that's how it works. It's no big deal. It's just a job hazard. "I don't want to own a gun, but sometimes at four in the morning when there is a car outside, you do think about it."
Those aren’t instincts dipshit, it’s your fucking phobias. The last time I heard an excuse this lame was when I came out of Store 24 and some lady asked me for spare change because she left her Prada bag in her Mercedes and that she brings her own shopping cart because you can't trust the ones at the store and she always gets the one with the fucked up wheel. Then, you look down and she’s got a Mercedes emblem duct-taped to the front of the shopping cart and you realize..that is the Mercedes, and that Prada bag is a lovely shade of "paper bag brown" with a half empty bottle of Thunderbird in it.

27 Comments:

Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Ahhh, the price of fame.

You know who else used to move every few hours? Saddam Hussein!
And we all know how his life turned out.

9:06 AM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

"I've had people show up at these houses so it's not a friendly place for a girl who is single without a dog to live."

Then buy a fucking dog you dumb cunt!!!! God I hate stupid motherfuckers. Trust me, ain't nobody trying to rape this bitch except maybe "Hank" and that's only because he has double personalitys. Irene needs to shut the fuck up. If she does buy a gun, one can only hope she is polish and holds it backwards when she shoots...........

10:09 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

You two make me laugh. Good one Wally with the Hussein reference. Excellent...

Excellent Commentary, Stallion with the "Hank" and double personalities.

Well played, boys. Well played.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

I'm just here to brighten the day of a special lady. : )

10:53 AM  
Blogger p0nk said...

i used to like her. i thought she was a good actress and she reminds me a lot of my ex-gf. come to think of it, my ex-gf was bi-polar so this isn't too far off.

11:14 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I guess it would be pretty scary living alone if you couldn't open your eyes more than a 18th of an inch. But that's the price you pay when you go around sucking lemons and breaking the hearts of bald cowboys.

11:55 AM  
Blogger RichPort said...

This chick make Asians look like they have big eyes...

12:03 PM  
Blogger RichPort said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:03 PM  
Blogger p0nk said...

oshy!!! did you get internet yet?

1:14 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

No, patience, my pretty... patience...

3:20 PM  
Blogger Peter_M said...

First, Happy New Year to all! I am in FL so can't look in as much as usual.

Second, what a whackjob! You are right, Zanna.

If all this has had such a deleterious effect on her ability to live in her own "luxury homes" then I can only imagine what effect being swept off her feet and then marrying a homosexual must have had. She must be frightened to fall asleep on her stomach too!

:-)

6:44 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

I was wondering where you were!!! Happy New Year!!! And good one about being "frightened to fall asleep on her stomach!"

6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if she's so scared & wealthy enough to own numerous luxury homes, why doesn't she hire a live in bodyguard/butler, etc.? sounds like another celeb trying to boost a little publicity to their declining fame.

6:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

really..why wouldn't she hire a security team with some of her jerry mcguire $$$??
i doubt there are too many people trying to get to her lemon face...i could understand if we were talking about jennifer aniston

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